iamthedukeofurl:

ding-dong-the-bitch-is-dead:

brawltogethernow:

brawltogethernow:

mamapluto:

brawltogethernow:

an-android-in-a-tutu:

brawltogethernow:

I understand the appeal of wanting every adult hero to instinctively adopt teenage Peter Parker, but can it really beat the hilarity of acknowledging that at 15 Peter was 5'10", unusually buff, went by a moniker with Man in it, wore a creepy full face mask, and had a tightly guarded secret identity and probably a Queens accent thick enough to have come out of a jello mold, and adult heroes reasonably responded to him by going, “Wow, this grown man is an immature asshole for no reason.”

Way funnier to me than adult heroes finding out Peter is a teenager and becoming Concerned is the idea of adult heroes Retroactively finding out Peter Was a teenager because he admits to being like. 22 and they’re like “Hang on you’ve been doing this for like. Seven years.” and he’s like “Haha crazy right? Anyway it’s too late for you to yell at me about that because the statue of limitations on that lecture ran out when I turned 18”

YEAH this trope is instantly more tolerable if it’s fully adult Peter being like, *listen up whippersnappers because I’ve been around the block voice* “I’m thirty, and—” and Tony Stark, who vaguely assumed Spider-Man is maybe two years older than him because he just has that energy and hasn’t reassessed this for four presidential terms, is like, *drunkenly doing math* “You’re how many”

Okay but…them trying to talk about Old People Stuff with him, not realizing that he wasn’t alive to remember xyz thing happening, never used xyz technology bc he didn’t exist yet, not expecting him to agree with the fact that some ppl were saying songs they grew up to were oldies, etc

The thing about Peter Parker is that he was raised by senior citizens the way other heroes are raised by wolves. He has the body of an Olympic gymnast and the soul of a malcontented geriatric. This likely contributed to the perpetuation of the accidental ruse.

It’s when he channels Aunt May so hard he makes it sound like he was personally and immediately affected by McCarthyism that the time traveler fringe theory starts really picking up bets.

@blackkatmagic @north-peach

I agree here, but Parker is ALSO canonically a science and technology nerd.
Peter ALSO likes to talk, because he’s nervous, and snarky banter is how he copes, but he tries to avoid any sort of identifying information, creating a situation where he just kind of mirrors whoever he’s talking to, and nobody can agree what age he is.
(Marvel characters barely have canonical ages, so I’m making this up)
Tony Stark (Late 30/ Early 40s), Comic book ages are fake) has had heated arguments with spider-man about the Starkphone’s latest specs, while also complained loudly about Oscorp, is convinced that Spider-Man is a 30 something engineer, is similarly convinced that Spider-Man probably works for him, and keeps trying to drop hints that like “You know, I respect you, you don’t have to hide from me because I’m your bosses’ bosses’ boss”.

Hawkeye (Early 30s) Human Disaster/Secret Agent has reminisced with Spider-Man about being a human disaster, is convinced that Peter Parker is, like, 28 at the youngest. He knows Spider-Man doesn’t collect a SHIELD paycheck or anything, so his mental image is a pretty accurate take on most Adult Spider-Man versions. Brilliant kid struggling to make rent on a studio apartment in Manhattan. 

Black Widow (Age ???), Professional Spy actually clocks Spider-Man as a Teenager pretty reliably, but doesn’t believe her own assessment, because this is America. American kids play basketball and worry about Prom, they don’t do this stuff. I mean, yeah, it’s possible, since he has powers and such, but no, he CAN’T Be as young. She refuses to believe it. 

Captain America (Mentally late 20s, chronologically almost 100 years old) has no idea what kids are like these days. But he’s been studying 20th century history, and Spider-Man has mentioned an Aunt he’s close with who lived through some specific events. Assuming that this “Aunt” is, like, 20-30 years older than her nephew, instead of 40+ years, he believes that Spider-Man is solidly in his 30s. 

Bruce Banner (40s): Is convinced Spider-Man is also an Adult, but for opposite reasons. In Bruce Banners mind, Kids are rude, and Spider-Man has always been very polite to him, therefore, an Adult, although perhaps a youngish one. With his knowledge of Science, Banner imagines Spider-Man as a PHD student. 

Thor (Age ???? But quite old) Knows that Spider-Man is an adolescent. How old are adolescent humans? 42? That sounds about right. Spider-Man is a 42 year old adolescent who lives with his Aunt. That aunt, who Thor has picked up is quite wise and venerable, is probably somewhere around 500 years old? 

(via aethersea)

professorsparklepants:

professorsparklepants:

Disney would have made the Nutcracker movie animated if they weren’t fucking cowards

Anyway if I were in charge Marie would’ve been a mixed race girl based on Dido Elizabeth Belle & Alexandre Dumas, living in late 18th/early 19th century france, with a godfather who is DEFINITELY based on Alexandre Dumas that travels the world but always comes back in time for Christmas to shower his godchildren with gifts. Hers are usually fashion dolls her brother Louis’ are usually a sword. After it transitions to toys vs. mice, this is how we work in her supporting cast of a Qing dynasty princess (tea), a Mexican folk dancer (chocolate), and an Ottoman sultana (coffee). The plot itself is a standard hero’s journey, just like Moana; entering the unknown, interacting with magic, becoming someone new to save the day, returning home to realize you’re different than when you left. Probably it involves a more extended war with the forces of the mouse king. If Marie takes part in the battle it’s as a Joan of Arc figure with a personal guard of her former dolls, now armed with Louis’ matching swords. The climax of the story involves Marie choosing to make a great personal sacrifice, only for the nutcracker prince to stop her at the last minute and ask her to let him help her. The moral is about how self sacrifice isn’t always the right answer, and to trust in your friends.

Marie should be twelve/thirteen, so there’s not an explicit romance plot between her and the nutcracker prince, but it’s heavily implied. There can be a timeskip epilogue where they meet again on christmas eve a few years later that has a Dance Of Romance to really drive home the point.

Also including: the sugar plum fairy as the nutcracker prince’s mother who takes Marie under her wing

(via tanoraqui)

e-e-e-s-the-avatar:

The Blue Spirit putting out firebending with a bucket of water is the absolute funniest thing ever done in avatar combat. It just is.

(via aethersea)

caffeinewitchcraft:

writing-prompt-s:

Many think that your power is the strongest in all the lands. “An ever changing and growing power” they say. Your power is called “legacy” and it’s effects are based on what your opponent thinks it does.

If you’d known what they would do with the word tattooed across your arm, you would have run away a long time ago.

You smile at the Leader of yet another superhero team, hands fisted under your backpack where he can’t see. He hasn’t decided on what your power is yet and you can’t help but brace for it. “As I said. I’m still in school. I don’t want to make any decisions yet.”

“Smart,” he compliments. He’s complimented you a lot since you sat down on the couch across from him while the Dean looks on, smiling. The Leader crosses and uncrosses his legs, spandex creaking with the motion. Finally, he stops beating around the bush. “We’re prepared to sign a non-exclusive contract with you today, Ms. Hassel. It’s not an offer you’ll receive after graduation.”

You keep smiling. Ever since your power’s name appeared, you’ve had to deal with guys like these. Everyone thinks that they have something new to offer, something that will entice you into signing your whole life away. You’re fairly certain that none of them actually know what your power, “Legacy,” entails, but that doesn’t matter.

Leaders are always looking for new meat.

Keep reading

(via aethersea)

obiwanbitchobi:

Qui-gon “feel, don’t think” Jinn training Anakin “I feel like jumping out of this speeder” Skywalker is honestly like, The funniest concept. There is no impulse control. Anakin: “I’m gonna jump off this cliff.” Qui-gon, lighting up a joint: “it’s the will of the force.”

(via intheboneorchard)

browsethestacks:

The Mummy

Art by Stephanie Pepper

(via mxaether)

nielrian:

nielrian:

if we consider check, please! taking place in the real world can you even imagine how popular bitty’s youtube channel would be especially during this pandemic?

he already had a built in fanbase that would have increased with national exposure, and considering it’s been 3 in-world years by 2020 he’s already an established brand. 

an upbeat feel-good youtube channel where a super cute blond guy teaches people how to bake like an expert, increasingly-more-often-than-not accompanied by his extremely hot, extremely sweet, very famous hockey sous chef husband. both of whom are now quarantined. like can you even fathom how popular this channel would become? 

including such gems as:

‘watch me cut my husband’s hair on IG live for charity’

‘watch jack zimmermann grow a beard in real time’

‘jack zimmermann is a little bit stir crazy from lack of hockey sport and will pick me up several times during this video because he’s full of chaotic energy right now and he’s not allowed to wrestle me’

‘sink into deep relaxation listening to two of the most bizarrely soothing accents you’ve ever heard in tandem’

‘bitty does a 24 hour livestream in which he makes 384 jars of jam because he’s lost control of his life’

‘listen to a 7 ½ minute argument about the pronunciation of the word ‘pecan’

‘bitty runs out of butter and goes into panic mode’

‘buttergate leads to several days of jack zimmermann workout videos that will be both extremely popular and extremely meme-able’ 

‘how many times can ‘ehm’ be said during one youtube video, this helpful counter in the corner of your screen will help us count’

‘some of the soppiest most adorable content of two newlyweds ever seen by human eyes’

(via jenroses)

mckitterick:

ADHD life hacks #41,279: Vegetable Management

source tweet: X

(via aethersea)

curlyfried:

roboco-san:

my personal curse is the knowledge that I function best with rigid structure and strict routine but am almost totally incapable of independently establishing or maintaining that structure and routine

Don’t forget this special feature: at the same time hating when people tell you what to do

(via tanoraqui)

imfemalewarrior:

bubblegum-pwussay:

afronerdism:

sunflowerdigs:

afronerdism:

rashemibabe:

naturalhairhow101:

I can vouch for this cause Shea’s moisture used to be the go to brand for people going natural cause is accessible. But now it’s SHIT.

This Is why I now only use small black owned brands and am diligent about not using these large store brands

The Shea Moisture gel I used to love is now just corn syrup. Corn syrup in a jar for $8, the caucasity. They must think we don’t know how to read.

What brands do you use? Design Essentials is still serving me pretty well, but I’m always looking for good stuff.

At this point I pretty much exclusively use the Melanin hair care line. It’s the line launched by naptrual85 on YouTube and it’s phenomenal.

I also recently started using @jehovahhthickness oil and so far it’s really nice!

I wanna know the answer to this too. Why cant they keep using the same ingredients why do they change the ingredients to something so harmful for our hair

I thought I would reblog this to spread awareness. I knew devacurl was suddenly causing damage but I didn’t know why.

-FemaleWarrior

I started using divacurl like two years ago, and now I’m struggling to find similar products that aren’t a ridiculous price so I can use the massive amounts I’ve realized I actually need. My hair is very curly, thick, and super long. So I tend to use a large palm-full of all my products, and that doesn’t really work If the product is too expensive or too thin. Conditioner in particular is proving to be a pain, I like the really thick stuff and so much of it is just too watered down. Not to mention that a lot of stuff just stinks. 

And my mother is no help at all, despite having the same curls as me. She spent her whole like wearing it short and straitened. 

(via aethersea)